Tuesday, June 29, 2010

months of silence.

Wow, I have not blogged since before I moved! Well that makes sense because I don't have a lap top (stilll unfortunately...saving up for a Mac Book) but it is a real bummer. I have had a lot of artistic thoughts and things to blog about but no way to do so. So I am at least going to do a written one w an update on my life so that it is not mistaken that this blog has been simply abandoned! Because I would never do that!

What is new; well what isn't new really. Everything is new & exciting for me right now. I am managing a coffee stand & working part time at a tanning salon, & hopefully starting at another coffee stand next week. I have become a total workaholic and I love it.

It feels really good to be totally supporting MYSELF for the first time in my life & I never want to go back to having it any other way. I just moved into a brand new apartment that I love, all by myself, no roommates! But the awesome thing is two of the friends I have made since I have been here live right upstairs!

Yes, my apartment is very empty since I have never lived on my own before. But I am slowly working on that. I should have a bed by later today and then I'm aiming for a microwave & toaster, & eventually a couch. I have NEVER in my life wanted to have any of these things because I move around so much I have thought of them as a hassle. But I realize now that its time to grow up, & grown ups need toasters and couches! :)

Another thing I am really working towards is a new car. As soon as I feel stable (which getting an apartment was the first step) I plan on getting on. It just feels really good to be working so hard and not having to rely on anyone but myself. Although my mom did help me a little w my apartment (I will not leave out credit where credit is due). And I most certainly could not have done this w out jolene renting me a room in her house & loading me up w towels, toilet paper, and noodles.

Of course there is Mr. R who has been the most help in my recent life. It would be unfair not to mention him. However that is a whole nother story & my blog is not about my "love" life, its about life in general on the rare occasion that I actually blog about me & not amazing clothes & music.

Let's get one thing straight though...getting where I am now was no walk in the park. Not only did it take years of struggles & growing up, & giving up to finally realize what I know now. But it also took A LOT of risk and hard work over the last few months. One thing I have learned is ALWAYS go w your gut feeling because there is always a reason it is trying to tell you something. & if you aren't willing to take risks than you will miss out on so much that life has to offer. Everything falls together exactly as it should to either help you or teach you a lesson that you cannot go on w out learning.

Its crazy to look back and think of how much I have stressed in the last few months let alone my entire life, only to realize that everything worked out, & the things that didn't taught me more than I could imagine. To me there is no meaning to live except just to live it, to be scared, to be nervous, but to take risks. To be yourself, what comes naturally, and to grow & learn.

Blah I always feel so scattered when I write these damn things. Well I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing a year from now, or even 6 months from now...but I have faith in myself. Anything is possible, never stop believing that!

XOXO Rhiannon

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